UNTOLD STORIES

Every face we see has a story to tell. Some stories will never be told for various reasons and others are told on a death bed. One thing for certain, there’s just something in us that nobody else knows apart from ourselves. This can be feelings, experiences, ideas and even stories.
From the creation of the world so many things have happened but not all are known. Some people who died did things that nobody knows about all what we see are the results of their deeds and questions are asked but nobody knows the answer. We all end up assuming. This means that there are so many undiscovered secrets about various things from the past to the present. Every soul has a secret that nobody knows about. Happy faces out side but a might flow of tears and a feeling of loneliness in side and nobody know about. This is an example of untold stories.
Some stories are remain hidden for the fear of there destructive power that they possess. This might be a thing done to benefit ones feelings and desires only but with bad repercussions to the outside world. The out side world might mean loved ones, our followers and friends. These are the Stories that can cause Armageddon to come to pass before its actual time if exposed. This is why people commit suicide, go crazy when their untold stories are told. Some of such stories are never up until on the death bed.
Some untold stories are so inspiring but they are still kept secret. These are the stories that can be able to transform the life of other Earthly beings into paradise. Some people never had a chance to tell their story to the world because they were silenced by someone or some people. Some of the inspiring stories were never told to the world because of selfish reasons. Not wanting some to benefit from their inspiring story. Others were not told because the author thought that their stories were not worthy to be told. This is still happening even today.
What is the story that you have not told? What kind is it? Good or bad? This is the world full of secrets and behind the closets there are so many untold stories. What is your untold story?

ACCEPTANCE & REALITY

Sometimes when reality catches up with you, you stand and watch with your mouth open most especially if you never expected it to happen. It doesn’t really matter if it’s a good thing or a bad thing. Now accepting reality sometimes can be very hard mostly if it has not gone our way. I honestly find that hard too but I have just realized is that the faster you accept it the faster the pains disappear. Facing the reality of losing a job, a child, partner and many other things that matters to us is not easy. Sometimes things just don’t work out they we wanted them to.

The accepting part can also be looked into two dimensions. The first one is accepting that some people like us while we don’t. Knowing that you are loved and cherished by someone you don’t can be very discomforting but we can’t make them stop. As a matter of fact you also love people who don’t even waste time to look at you. Be proud that you are at least loved by somebody. Love is love. It doesn’t matter where it going or coming from. The second part is accepting no matter how you try, you can’t get what you want. Harding working pays but it’s not always.

This doesn’t mean that we should not work hard but if our success is against the odds, well, let’s accept and let it go. I have also come to understand over the years that sometimes we waste a lot of time trying to make something work when it can’t and in the end we loss time and other opportunities. Had it been that the time and effort lost were invested in something else, things could have changed for the better.

Acceptance and reality are not easy but life has to go on with them.

WHAT ARE YOU WORTHY?

Have ever asked yourself about what you are worthy? What is it that can be able to buy you? A man who doesn’t understand him or herself will never know his or her value or what he or she is worthy. A certain wise man said,”You’re what you think.” A man becomes what he or she thinks. Your mind is like a garden and you’re like the gardener. If you don’t weed the garden anything that chooses to grow in the garden will grow and in the end you will have a garden that is filled with a lot of weeds that are useless. They just take up the nutrients that were supposed to be used by a crop phat could have been profitable to you. So this is what people who see the garden will say, “What a useless garden. What benefit is the gardener getting from it? Or maybe is the gardener himself who is useless for failing to weed it?” in other words what they are saying is that both are useless for they are failing to come up with good things out themselves. They are valueless.

So un weeded mind will lender it self useless so will it also be true with the host. We have people who are so corrupt that they don’t really care about themselves and most of them don’t give a damn about others as well. If one has a weak mind sees him or herself as useless if something goes wrong or if one messes up. So because of this they end up losing themselves by exchanging themselves with things that are far from their value. Some join groups that don’t conform to their standard and value.
In desperate situations some tend to go for anything that comes along. They join the anything goes club, the club that does not care about values and standards of themselves. Some men when they are frustrated at home they end up having relationships with ladies that are far worse than value of their wives and themselves. This also happens to women who end up sleeping with watchmen, gardeners and their drivers’, people who are far less in value and quality than their partners. These things show the devaluation of the person in value.

So what it means here is that everything starts from one’s mind. The mind that is not well tendered produces an irrational character and builds a low self esteem spirit that tell us that we are useless and anything can suit us regardless of its value and quality. So by all means be able to say no to anything that is not of your value and standard. Even a hooker sometimes turns down a client if they see that he’s worse than worse even if he offers her more cash for the service.

You have to know what you are worthy and then you can also be able to know the value of others. Even in hopeless situation not all kind of help will be equal to your value. Don’t just go for anything. Know that, the way you value yourself others will value you on the same level and this determines the respect you will get from them (people). No man is of no value. Don’t really care what people say about you. Stand up because you have a better value but this does not mean that you have be proud and regard others useless. If you dare do this you’re worse than a man without value.

communication is vital

Imagine a world without journalists, television, radios, internet and any communication media. Imagine the world without information and just to think of it a world without communication. What would it be like? For managers and business executives to make right and profitable decisions they need to be communicated with good and right information. Information is the backbone of every decision people make every day. Wrong information leads to wrong decision. Let me prove it. I head of a story real one, that a certain husband got the winds that his wife has been sharing his matrimonial bed with one of his friends. When he heard about it he confronted his wife with a lot of anger and without hearing the side of the wife he told her to pack and leave the house. He said he is not cheap to share a woman and he can not stoop so low to share a house with a woman who cannot keep her skirts zip closed. Better stay alone than share your hard earned money with a harlot. Three weeks down the line he found out that the story was just a rumor and nothing of it was true. He went to apologize to the wife and asked her for forgiveness. He said he was sorry for not giving a chance to hear her side of the story. He also said that he regretted his approach. He got wrong information.

The other story is almost the same but differs a little. A man finds his best friend having sex with his wife in his bedroom on his bed. The man walks straight to where he left his office keys, walks out of the room, closed the door and leaves with saying a single word. Whether the culprits finished there business is unknown. He comes home after work and finds his wife at the dining room. He walks straight to her and gives her a big hug and a kiss. This was a major surprise to the woman. After supper they went to bed and in the morning he leaves for work. This lived as if nothing happened. For three days the guy said nothing and on the fourth day as he was coming from work he found his wife’s body hanging. She committed suicide. Now between the two who did right in terms communication?

Silence is the best way to avoid being misquoted but it is not the best way to avoid being misinterpreted. Many things go wrong because of luck of communication. I have seen and heard of relationships being broken, marriages coming to an end, jobs being lost and a lot being lost. Now much as communicating is very important, good channels must be followed as well. Sometimes we try to communicate but on a wrong time and sometimes it happens that we try to communicate but to a wrong person. So this leaves us with a food for thought. Before one communicates there needs to be a good sense of time judgment. Assess the situation and see if it’s a good time to communicate. The other thing is, to whom are you communicating? You might have something that you really need to communicate to somebody but must first check if the person you are communicating to is a right one. Good information landing in the hands of a wrong person is a complete mistake. Some people don’t deserve to have information of some other things.

In communication approach matters as well. If the approach is wrong never expect to yield the intended positive results. Most people choose not to pay attention to what one is saying not matter how good the things might be because of bad approach. So check the time, approach, the person you are communicating to and the place. Choose a convenient place for communicating. Not anytime, person, place is good for communication.

Let us avoid a lot of misunderstandings and mistakes by trying to communicate well. Coming up with a channel of communication I believe depends on the person, time, place, e.t.c. its not easy but with a lot of effort, dedication, commitment we can make it. WE CAN DO IT, YES CAN!

SUDDEN DEATH

I have heard, read or witnessed suicide deaths before but it had never happened to a close friend or relative.But the recent death of my friend who chose to take away his life has had a big effect on my life. It has taught me a very important lesson that i will try not to forget.

Sam had just graduated from one of the constituent colleges of the University of Malawi with a degree in Electrical Engineering. He was a very intelligent friend who i adored since our primary school days. He was just brilliant beyond explanation.

He got born again in secondary and was active in youth fellowships. We all knew we had a strong member, advisor and a role model. He openly said that was a virgin even at 25 years and wanted to maintain that until he met his life partner.

The unfortunate thing happened when he joined a group of friends for a workshop at Lunzu Trading Centre. We are told that he was convinced to sleep with a prostitute. (I don't know how one managed to convince him to do such a thing). In the course of their time in bed the condom broke.

Sam was completely devastated by this and he could not live with it considering that he might have contracted the deadly virus, HIV. We all knew that things were not right with Sam and his friends revealed after he had already taken his life.

He had to die a cruel death just for the fact that he might have the virus. He was one friend that i admired and could not believe every word about what he had done.

A HEART OF A MAN

Times have really changed. Things are going to the abyss. Each and every day the world is getting bizarre stories and I have a true bizarre story that really happened to people I know. To some of you it might be shocking and to some it might be that you heard or maybe experienced a similar situation. When I heard about it I was really shocked. Telling you the truth, life sometimes is very unfair to people who are as innocent as infants. They get paid in wrong terms for their love, sacrifices, care and good will.

I will not use their real names for the sake of their privacy. Let’s call them Dan and Martha. Martha is a beautiful girl with so much love for Dan. She went through a lot of hard times because of him. There were times when Dan would beat her up, disrespect her in all kinds of manners, taking the hard earned money that Martha earned from her less paying job for beer. All these things were happening when Dan was not working. He stayed without a job for about two years and all the support was coming from Martha. She loved the man with all her heart and she never kept a grudge against him. Even after going through all these atrocities she kept telling herself that he will change for the better and life would be as it is suppose to be. Later Dan secured a job and her faith that things will be fine increased because she thought that maybe Dan was being naughty because he did not have a job but little did Martha know that there was mayhem she has to face, the greatest shock of her life that she has to accept and deal with it. This is where Martha maybe regretted of loving, caring and hoping for a better change.

What happened is that Martha and Dan were staying with Dan’s younger sister and Martha’s younger sister. So Dan’s sister one day after maybe after getting tired with the practice of being like a nurse to Dan or maybe she was feeling sorry for Martha spilled the beans to Martha. Dan had been on ARV’s for a long time and he never told Martha that he’s HIV/AIDS positive. Martha was shocked. She couldn’t believe it. Why Dan why? Why did you not tell me? She cried bitterly because she could not believe that the very same thing she has kept herself from getting was now enjoying a new habitation in her body. Its like over for her. Dan’s sister explained that she had been giving the medication to Dan everyday when Dan is bathing (in the bathroom). This was done so that Martha shouldn’t know. It was a secret he hid from the girl who took care of him and loved him with all her heart. After this, Martha asked Dan and the most unbelievable thing is that Dan never felt sorry or that he was wrong. His answer was, “yes it true. So what are you going to do about it?” this was like telling her that yes I have infected you with the HIV/AIDS virus. So what? He never apologized for what he did and he doesn’t regret infecting such an innocent person with HIV purposely. Now Martha has the virus and there’s nothing much she can do now.

Looking at this story I have really believed that a human heart is desperately sinful and beyond cure. How could Dan possibly be so very unappreciative? After all Martha did to him and he chose to repay her by infecting her with a virus? Just think of it if it were you in Martha’s shoes? If spouses and lovers do these things, then who else can we trust? I thought love is suppose to protect and wish every good thing to happen to the one we love? The real meaning of love is being devaluated by the sins of men. Without any apology I would say that what Dan did is completely inhuman and people like him who are heartless, ruthless, merciless don’t deserve a place in our world.

Now let us look at Martha. I believe that Martha has a part to share in this story on the negative side of the story of course. How could she possibly get into a sexual relationship with a man she doesn’t know his HIV/AIDS status? The world is preaching everyday that never sleep with a person you don’t his or her status without a condom or if you are one of those who hate condoms then never do it at all! She was stupid I would say to believe that Dan is pure and virus free maybe because of the way he was looking. People with AIDS are not stamped on their foreheads. One need to be very careful at all times. Martha should have told Dan gone for an HIV test first before getting engaged. She doesn’t deserve the Virus but she should also accept that she was not careful enough in the first place that could have prevented her from getting the virus. On the other hand it would also be wrong to blame Martha for not going for an HIV test before getting engaged. The reason is that none of us including Martha we don’t know when exactly Dan contacted the virus. It might be that he got it after the engagement. Either way Dan is fully responsible for kill such a young woman who is below thirty. Did I mention that Martha is an orphan and is responsible her siblings? Anyway having HIV doesn’t mean that is the end of everything. People stay with the virus for over twenty years. The only pain is that Martha has it (HIV VIRUS).

So what we should learn here is that looks mislead and let us never pass on judgment of any kind based on the appearance of a person. The other thing is that a lot of people we love and care they don’t love and care for us just as much as we do but many of those that we don’t care they cry for us everyday because they love us. Any man is capable of doing anything. Let us be very careful in what ever we do. Prevention is always better than cure.

Lose what you have but not your Family

Charity begins at home, so the old saying goes. Anything has to start at home. Before one do good to outsiders, one must start it at home or in the family. Family is a base or a platform for anybody to blossom and make it big. We all have heard of cases where some people are said to have a lot of problems in their lives because they never had blessings from their families. Everyone needs a family. I believe that the most horrible thing in life is to have no family. One can have all things in the world but happiness will never come if the person does not have a family. If we have a family, it gives us a feeling of belonging. We feel that we are not alone. The loneliest people are the ones without a family. The happiest people most of the times comes from good and healthy families. The importance of having a good and healthy family needs not to be over emphasized. It’s an inborn thing. It’s just natural.

A husband who has a nagging wife is more likely to lose his efficiency in what ever he does. This may result in him coming home very late, cheating and some start to use drugs just to avoid the nagging of the wife. All of this will boil down to the kids. They will not have time with their dad because the dad is always on the run. In the same vein a lying husband loses respect of his wife and forces the wife not to obey him. The husband who is never at home, who gives his first priority to his work, career, friends or what ever keeps him busy is worse than anything else. When this starts, one thing is for sure, the house will become a complete chaos. The wife will cheat on him, she will choose to spend time with her friends and the kids will have body to be with.

This is also true to parents who are ever busy advancing their careers, spends a lot of time at work maybe to make extra money or to impress the boss so that they keep a job. Some like socializing with friends and the kids are always at the receiving end. Parents who do not spend time with their kids are bound to have a disjointed family, unruly kids and most undeniably dull kids. A single-handed mother has to combine two responsibilities of being a mother and to fill the gap of a father. Let us face it, women no matter how good they can be they can not be a perfect substitute of a father. She is incapable of being a complete father to the kids. This gives her the pressure to give a balanced relation to the kids. She is supposed to have a fatherly role and at the same time to discharge her duties as a mother. The same is true for the husbands who raise the children all by themselves. They combine the two contrasting roles of being a father and a mother. No matter how the bad the mother can be but fathers will never fill the gap the mother leaves. The relationship between children and mothers differs to the relationship they have with their fathers. Some children tend to love their mother more than they love their father but this does not mean that they do not need the father. So is true if they love the father more than their mom.

Mothers provide most of the times emotional support and skills to the kids and fathers would provide guidance, knowledge, discipline and skills to their children. If a father can fit perfectly into a motherly role why then do have women around and vise versa. For children to grow well into good and reliable citizens, they need all parents to be there for them. Most children who come from separated and divorced families have mental and psychological problems than the ones coming from families with both parents. Some have the bad feeling that they are not loved or needed and this leads to withdraw from social groups, family gatherings and even in school groups. In short I would say this kind of environment is not conducive to a good child development.

I remember listening to one child who stays with his father saying that his dad is everything to him but still he feels that something is missing and that is the mothers love, passion and care. He said he misses his mom even though his dad is around. These kinds of sentiments can be shared by many children who are staying with one parent only. It’s a burden to children only that they might not say anything but it hurts inside. Some grow up without knowing what it means to be a good dad or a mother because they never learn from them. They might turn out to be very bad parents not because they are but they never learn or saw what it means to be a good parent because theirs were not there to teach them. So this goes to all mothers and fathers who are either not there for their children or they are thinking of leaving the house.

Honestly speaking, hate or disagree with me but every parent who do this is one hell, crazy, selfish person who thinks of him or herself and not the children. Some of you who are doing this or maybe you’re thinking about doing it please know it that you need to make sacrifices for your children. Being a good parent does not mean spoiling the kids with all kind of presents, gifts and money. What they need most is our presence and time. Set aside a little time for your kids. What is better to make other people happy and be a big disappointment and wimp to your family? You always have the confidence to face the world and challenges out there if everything is fine at home.

“Mom, dad, we miss you when you are not around. We need you to be there for us. You’re our security, shelter, joy and confidence.” (This is the message from all children from the whole world to parents

THE FALLEN HERO (R.I.P JACKO)

Just as there's a thin line between love and hate so is also true with life and death. You meet somebody today full of life, the next thing you will hear tomorrow is that the man is dead. Such is the truth about life. Just this year i have been shocked by death news. The first was my uncle who after working the whole day on his house (he was building) with his builders, felt ill the same day night and he died in early hours of the next day. This shocked me. How can a man who was full of life die like that? He never had any serious health problems to justify his sudden death. The second one was my own friend Nkasa (not Joseph Nkasa) who died more less the same kind of death. Now the recent one being Micheal Jacko Jackson. His sudden death has not only shocked me as an individual but also the whole world. I had been a fan of Jacko for a long time. This guy was about to make a come back starting from 13 July, 2009 which could have seen him going for a tour and he was about to have 50 concerts in his tour. This i believe could have had a positive impact on his rather troubled life.

Jacko will be always be remembered as a hero in the music circle. His work inspired many into music like Usher Raymond and me. Today Usher is a great musician while i am a great listener. All sorts of bad things were said about him while he was alive but his achievements over shadows his mistakes. America and the whole world has lost a great talent.

Jackos' demise has confirmed to me that nobody owns life. Today is Jacko tomorrow is you and me. What legacy are we going to leave behind? Death comes to all, to The good,The bad and The ugly.

R.I.P Jacko. We will for ever miss you.